Wednesday finds me with free time in my hands, and the infamous Laz Kisau Mbalatya invites me to take a journey with him upcountry to go "escort" his grandee! His Grandie passed on having hit 113 years old (wonder how many of us will manage to hit that age…with all these junk food, beer, smoking and of course chips/kebab funga, that we have forcefully made part of our culture!) Wish the old man would give us secrets! thumuua nau, thuumua (R.I.P. grandee)
We make a stop over at T-Tot. If you are a Kao or have been to kamba-land and have never made way to this modest hotel, then you lose marks! Their sumptuous samosas leave me ordering four of them. Their chapatis are also well cooked and one chapati can see you for a whole day (Mutheu Mutua, stop salivating!)
The (dusty) journey begins. Honestly, I come from Tala, Kangundo, just a stone throw away from CBD. At times, I even make those random decisions and head upcountry to have lunch and by 4.30pm, I am back to the city! Those people that head these route, I really feel for you! all that distance. Never the less, we in good company of Stanley, Kelvin, Emirates Arsenal, Aby, Shaqwisha, Mutisya, Sylvia, Sheila, Moniq, Ralph Eddie, Aleks, Timothy and Cyrus who make the journey interesting, jabbing at each other with jokes.
The freshest one was on Laz, kwao ni mbali had they have to carry a passport! (true…for the guy was carrying one!)…then ati the place is so interior had Google maps cant trace it!
Oddly enough is only Laz and Monique who are able to receive calls and access internet, the rest of us were swapping SIM cards like those goons in that CCK ad. They are masters. But of course, they had to be standing at specific points for the network bar to shoot up! I tried it, only to realize it was in the middle of the road. wacha ikae!!
It's been long since the skies opened up, but the little green here and there graces the dusty road. We meet these school kids, barefoot and braving the scorching heat! Takes me back to those years when shoes were a reserve for those whose fathers worked in the city and shoes were only meant to be worn on Christmas…na wageni wakija! They just inspire me over the fact that amidst the challenges always associated with schools from the interior, some of them have worked hard and alleviated their community off the struggles!
There is a huge presence of donkeys on these sides, possibly for fetching water. We even reached a certain point where a pack of them refused to give way, forcing us to take a detour…silly, no wonder mlinyimwa mkia, mkapewa maskio (*ilemkiaingine)!
We only get to cross paths with one motor cycle rider the whole journey! He is highly respected in the area, and is always on call.
We cross a certain river that has a slim bridge. When it rains (am told), hakuna kuenda ocha!…they have to wait for the waters to subside so that they can cross! Woe unto you if it rains when you on the wrong side…utalala kwa girlfriend yako kama umetoka huko!
My purported tour guide shows me an old market that resembles some in those cowboy movies…it's dead, save for some recent Safaricom posters here and there. Laz even has the audacity to tell me that it was featured in the dailies years back. Am left musing! keenga Ndunge!!
After the burial service, we get served a sumptuous plate of muthokoi (by his two younger sisters)…trust guys to finish it within seconds! Round two follows, and so does round three! My worry is constipation, don't we all dread those people that stop buses every 67 seconds to relieve themselves?
"Tell your sisters to continue cooking that way, and they wont finish school" jabs one Alex. True when they say that the way to a man's heart, is through his stomach! Reminds me of my weighty issues, I really need work out…and get into shape….wait, wait….round is also a shape! Fatten up Syoks, it's your turn to eat!
I notice his dog just gave birth, the puppies take me back to one dear friend of mine that has a passion for puppies and would do anything to mould them…do toilet training, etiquette and all that stuff! YOU know yourself! That photo of a pup is YOU!
We pass by , and here we decide how about we shake things up! 8kg's of meat, one Monique was picking like 10 pieces at a go, this is despite the meat being steaming hot!
beer there is 120bob…was expecting it not to exceed 100bob bearing in mind beer goes for 150 bob in Nairobi! Thirst knows none of that, and that bar-maid made a killing!
One observation, do all bar-maids share the name 'Mwende'? or any that starts with "M"….
Thank God am back to Nairobi, had a great time with you guys…but a reminder to one Kelvin , next time we do a road trip, tank up that car! You made us make like 10 trips back and forth…but it was fun chilling on the dark highway at 10.00pm…LET's DO IT AGAIN guys!
