Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Elliptical 20:11:2010


It’s not everyday that the rugby fanatics ditch their trademark patriotic tee-shirts for tuxedos…plus going all formal, arriving for a gig on time and making sure everything runs according to plan…these would be a test for them and yours truly was invited to be part of this event.

Being a weekend full of rugby action, most of the fanatics are torn between rooting for their team (Impalla was trading punches with Quins) and getting to the Club Barn, Racecourse on time. Am sure most of them left home carrying two sets of clothes, and am talking about you Tony Munge! TKB…pia wewe! I know the game was nail biting…

…and typical of Kenyans with the last minute rush of things, Arigi Obiero was in town shopping for a shirt at 3.03pm…and still wanted to attend the game…talk of treading on a thin line!

He offers me a lift (bus fare nilikuwa nayo but….) and we have to pitia picking one of the Mc’s for the night, one sweet Renee, and thanks to the traffic on Ngong rd, Renee shares lots of stories regarding….mmmm…that’s a tale for another day!

We get to Club Barn and meet Katini, who is just happy that Quins are grilling Impalla. (mmssschhheeeewwww!)… Tony Onyango is also present alongside Katbabie, working on the décor and last minute touches…you guys did an amazing job, kwanza the patriotic theme…eeeiissshhh, harusi yangu muko kwa committee!

The guests start streaming in and there is no admittance without a black tie. Such a move really cost one Levi who is used to tee’s and jeans…word is that he hired the sharp suit he was dressed in! if not in a full tuxedo, there was an option for the Maasai shuka, this is the way to go, said a patron…problem is that when it reaches level 5 with the shukas, iko shida!

Kule and Renee are warming up the crowd, but I kept wondering why Kule kept missing some names…their delivery is indeed marvelous…am now thinking of doing a biashara for MC’s for hire!

There was a red carpet (hii wizara imejipanga!)
which Tony Munge, Maureen Mugane and Faith Diana had fun on, they never get to see and experience such things☺ Nyamoita, towering and mbeativul is also having fun at the red carpet.

George Mokuasi, all the way from US of A decided to celebrate the night in his own style, and a brother rode all the way to work dressed up in a Maasai shuka and a tux coat…things we do and yet to do for the Ministry!

Stephen Kadongo, all sharp and ready for the night! Millie Mwango aka kung-fu panda was in the house. She had managed to win the Fanatic of the year award and she dedicated it to George Mokuasi, the two of them have done wonders for the Fanatics!

Nancy Kihenia walks in, alongside Joy Wachira. Joy is turning a year older and what a surprise to pull for her by telling Arigi to imbia her…Arigi of all people! May you have a noisy year ahead Joy!

I got the chance to share a table with Lina Gichure (who stole a tee-shirt our table won…na utegwe!), Julie (she hosts Karaoke…worth check it out) and Kat (who refused me to sit next to her..ati nitamwambukiza ujinga)…I get the chance to meet Kiarie, who reminds me of my blog, am humbled Kiarie.

Madi read the Hall of fame speech, and also got the chance
to share the same stage with Steel Pulse. Steel set the pace for Madi and his lewd crazy songs, which they sang that night…talk of a father-son connection!

Clifford Kinyua, all sharp and ready to go! Puree was conspicuously missing…Ken Oyugi was also present, sad that they lost the okombe to Ulinzi..now, how do you balance Gor and rugby?

Jules Katsivo and Ellah also check in. The previous night they dazzled me at how they were going to rock in high heels…Ellah Eh Eh Eh!

Quite a representation in the house from DSTV, who said that next year, the event may be relayed live☺, Red Dot Engraving who did the invitation cards (they so beautiful) among others. I hardly spot a boss from the Union☹

Arigi and Tonyango had the hardest time with the speeches. That English was too deep and Arigi bore the brunt of chants, mostly from Larry Asego…at one point, Arigi was told “hiyo ni ya kuandikiwa, sasa sema yako….”

Tonyango wept, Arigi hid his feelings!

Then came the awards, Ayumba Ayodi and Chris Omollo collected the best print media award on behalf of the Nation Media Group.. Ayodi and I used to share desks with each other while I was at NMG..and did I say he was dressed in a 3 piece suit…Muluya! Wait till he was called on the stage to collect his award and words ran out of him…kuzoea kuandika!

Ps: the brother has also been nominated for the KRFU awards…VOTE!

Our Kung-Fu panda won the Fanatic of the year, and the rest of the Fanatics decided to do a Kayumbet dance that this climaxed the night…I however imagined if those in the Maasai shuka’s hadn’t tied them tightly…level 5, level 5!

There was an auction of the first ever tee-shirt from the Ministry,
which has autograph's from the team that reached the semis while in Dubai..
The whole bidding process raise over 100k…proceeds from these will go towards a charity event scheduled for December at the St. Thomas Berando’s Home in Lang’ata. They did it early this year and its indeed a worthy deed.

Then the full dunda starts, and here is where you would see the real people…coats were left open and the ties taken off…the dunda had began…

I hear you people left there at 7.00am…kwani hamuendangi kanisa?

Monday, October 11, 2010

a fleshy Naija Nite!

Whoever said ‘less is more’ had a point! What I saw (and fed my eyes with) last Saturday was enough proof! Kenyan mama’s strutted out, in those short dinner dresses that revealed everything! Even when they danced, they forgot their dress reveals a lot…eee, Mungu baba shuka na usitumane!

Keep reading, and if you want some ‘nice’ photos,, click here!!!! Thank you Anthony Njoroge for the photos!

Of late, Nigeria seems to have taken over! From that Bwana PAP preacher wa KICC to the local Tv stations bowing down to Nollywood, churning movie and after movie! Leaves me wondering whether kids from Naija always say “when I grow up, I want to be a movie actor’…I laud their film industry, Riverwood, wake up!

Ramsey was in town (I knew him through some updates on FB by the way). Ramsey is an actor from the Agbada country that has had women asking for tissues as they wipe their drools!So was D’banj aka Koko-master. He landed in Kenya and immediately christened himself ‘Chief Sonko’…wonder whether it was a diss to our dear Mbuvi Kioko!

Both were around for Naija nite concert, their country just hit 50 years of self-governance! Kenya is somewhere there, tutafika tu, hakuna haraka!

My buddy Ken Kaburu was throwing a bash that Friday, kila kitu was in mpango until Mutheu called, and invited me to the VIP dinner that was at Museum, courtesy of the Naija brodas! Pole sana Ken, nitajipanga I kuja with my first lady, you jua her!

Museum wasn’t that bad, each table had a sitting of 9 people and there were 2 wine bottles each! I happened to get a table with only 4 people and 1 was a tee-toller! Mungu enyewe hasahau watu wake! That wine left me beyond help, I will stick to my Tusker. I got to meet the next head of Safcom and other prominent guys at the dinner. Thanks dear Mutheu!

Saturday and I make my way to the Impala grounds. There was minimal traffic at that time and I really pity Abel Masya, who couldn’t make it coz the traffic extended upto Uchumi…next time, angalia saa!

Ugandan soccer fans are around, with their yellow jerseys. They was sending a message to Kenyan’s, after holding them at home! Doda must be proud of himself…get over it bro, Migingo is ours!

I bump onto my bosom buddies Anto and Elvis; both are Pap’s on the loose! The VIP section wasn’t that bad save for the fact that one couldn’t get to see the whole need of it apart from having a seat to bum on and table to place your drink! The VVIP section was kidogo shady, how do you separate VVIP from a VIP section with a curtain (shady)…there was a screen that kept operating at it’s own will, leaving the VIP’s with no option but to crane and get to see what’s on stage, or sit down and drink down that sorrowful realization!

Madtrax gets on stage and tries warming up the crowd. Mboss, we didn’t pay to ride boda-bodas here. Dj Stylez who kept the crowd on its feet with good music saved him. Prezzo get’s on stage alongside Collo in an effort to do a collabo. They make the night worse!

Prax, Cc and Mary…the three happen to be my neighbors from Kangundo. Prax is such a lovely lady who isn’t afraid of sharing stories. We chat everything, from the price of coffee picking to which coffee mill needs an overhaul. Along comes Maina, a bosom buddy whom we the Kamba community offered him CC, one of our sister’shands in marriage. Na hajatuonesha sister yake!Mary Mbula…you and me tutaendelea, ambia Susam awache siasa!

Raila Amolo Odinga…eee, Raila baba made way to the venue. Someone somewhere slept on the job for Raila had to be snaked in through the VIP area, a risky move. Yaani he was a hand-stretch away from Syoks!

And that was the closest Maina will ever get to Raila Odinga, savor the moment bro!

The crowd get’s impatient, ‘Haki Yetu’chants start renting the air. D’Banj is keeping Kenyans waiting. On stage jumps some funny characters from Nigeria. Who let them in? Waste of time!

Redsan is around, flocked by his security detail as kawaida. I wonder when he grows old, whether the bouncer will still be around him to skuma away female admirers, give the guy some space buwana!

Ramsey gets on stage, too bad for him for half of the crowd was high! I saw this guy screaming at the Ramsey (well) Chicks get to feed their eyes, drool and scream! The guy has six packs by the way, am jealous since I have a one-pack!

Koko de master get’s on stage, and what a relief. He invites the PM with the chants of ‘Igwe’….enyewe Raila anapendwa!

Hit after hit, sadly is Kenyans only jua two of his songs! By the time he was done (sadly), a chunk of the patrons were either bored, had left or drunk (or the three)…but the guy has nice delivery. If only those groupies he got on the stage with would be left behind….


Grace Kerongo, sober as usual. Nice linking up with you! Esther...you did it again!!!

Mutunga Nguna joins me, and as usual, his first question is ‘Wapi counter’….we get to drown the rest of the event away and leave for town!




Now, about the photos….Anto, where are those lewd photos of our sisters? Nyama PAP!

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

COMMONWEALTH GAMES 2010 (Rugby Table)


Pool A
New Zealand
Scotland
Canada
Guyana


Pool B
South Africa
Wales
Tonga
India


Pool C
Samoa
KENYA
Uganda
Papua New Guinea


Pool D
England
Australia
Namibia
Sri Lanka



Order of Play
Day One, Monday 11th October, 2010

TIME (KENYA TIME)

1130: South Africa v Tonga

1152: Wales v India

1214: New Zealand v Canada

1236: Scotland v Guyana

1258: England v Sri Lanka

1320: Australia v Uganda

1352: Samoa v Papua New Guinea

1414: Kenya v Malaysia

1436: South Africa v India

1458: Wales v Tonga

1520: New Zealand v Guyana

1542: Scotland v Canada

1634: England v Uganda

1656: Australia v Sri Lanka

1718: Samoa v Malaysia

1740: Kenya v Papua New Guinea

1802: Tonga v India

1824: Canada v Guyana

1856: Sri Lanka v Uganda

1918: Papua New Guinea v Malaysia
1940: South Africa v Wales

2002: New Zealand v Scotland

2024: England v Australia

2046: Samoa v Kenya


* All times Kenyan


Get into cheering mood, join the FANATICS on www.ministryofrugby.com

Released by KRU Media & Communications

Kenya RU
Tel/Fax: +254 20 2370360Mobile: +254 733 256179+ 254 724 256179
Email: info@kenyarfu.com kenyarugbyunion@gmail.com
Website www.kenyarfu.com
Physical Address: RFUEA Grounds, Ngong Road, Nairobi, KENYA
Postal Address: P O Box 48322, 00100, Nairobi, KENYA


Pool A


Monday, September 27, 2010

Kenya's squad to the Commonwealth Games in New Delhi, India.


Kenya head coach Benjamin Ayimba has announced his 12-man squad for the Rugby Sevens event at the Commonwealth Games in New Delhi, India, next month.


Captained by stalwart Humphrey Kayange, Kenya will line up against current IRB Sevens World Series champions Samoa, Papua New Guinea and Malaysia in Pool C with the matches taking place on 11 October before the medals are decided a day later.


There are just two players, Lavin Asego and Sidney Ashioya, who played in the Games four years ago in Melbourne, whilst Gray Cullen, Andrew Amonde, Brian Nyikuli and Wilson K'Opondo are the four additions to the squad that played at the World Cup in Dubai last year.


Kenya finished eighth in this season's IRB Sevens World Series, with their best two performances coming in George and Las Vegas where they reached the Cup semi finals before losing to New Zealand on both occasions, 17-14 and 21-7 respectively.


Their only piece of silverware was in London after they beat France 24-21 in the Shield final at Twickenham and head coach Ayimba will be hoping to use this as motivation heading into the Commonwealth Games where they are searching for a first Sevens medal.


"We expect to be in the medals bracket and we're looking forward to what should be a highly competitive Commonwealth Games and Rugby Sevens event in Delhi," said Ayimba.


Kenya squad: Biko Adema, Leon Adongo, Andrew Amonde, Lavin Asego, Sidney Ashioya, Gray Cullen, Humphrey Kayange (captain), Wilson Kopondo, Collins Injera, Brian Nyikuli, Horace Owiti, Gibson Weru

DriFtiNg WooDs…day II

Sunday morning…


rain again, I wonder why it seldom rains in Ukambani when am there!


As routine, we do our ticketing early, ile pesa itabaki ndio muenjeyo! Tonyango is here, fresh as a tomato arriving at 3.00am at Marikiti market! He is even in a white tee-shirt to prove his innocence. His ride had issues, never seen a guy so sober…and worried. He almost flew in a mechanic!

Arigi blesses us with the fresh-est tee in town, “wizara ya raga”…now these ones throw people off their seats. These set’s us a standard above other wannabe rugby fans!

Kat and the rest check in, fresh and ready to represent. Puree has nice cousins Ringe and Njoki, Mombasa narudi sababu yenu! We have unfinished business! I get to meet (name withheld)..who made Laura Kaindi curse upon hearing our meeting! Am going to leave you for her! They even bought rounds to make sure me and the rest delay…mussindwe!

There was however this birds that were dropping everything from the trees. Millie had her fair share of you know what! Pooooooooop!

Our two lovely Kamba zistas arrive, word is that when coming down coast-o, they preferred diverting hapo Makutano na kuingia Mayakos kunywa chai. How do you leave Nairobi for Mombasa on a Friday and get there on a Sunday afternoon? Afadhali Fundi, who trekked all the way to Mlolongo to board a bus to Msa and pay half the price!

After much pushing and shoving, Quins win the 2010 Driftwood 7's with Impala taking the Runners-up...USIU take Shield, Homeboys take Bowl, Strathmore take Plate. Most tries award goes to Innocent Simiyu (Impala), who also covets the award for player with top points. MVP goes to Lawrence Biache (Impala).

overall circuit winners results are as follows…top scorer and top points was Innocent Simiyu, the MVP being Edgar Adewe. The tournaments Runner-ups were Quins and of course, the WINNERS are MWAMBA RFC

Mwamba do the skip to my lou routine upon claiming the trophy. Quite entertaining!

All flights and buses back to the city and jammed with rugby players and fans, things we do for rugby. ..and have a nice journey back to the city!

For those that waited for mabuyus from me (mnajijua)…go buy them hapo Jamia…hehehe…

Now that rugby is over, June and Pauline, please tell Western Union to get us something to do…anything, hata kama ni kukaa chini na kupiga story kwa niaba ya Western Union!

DriFtiNg WooDs…day I

Whoever coined the name Mombasa Raha deserves an award…well, any award even if it has no monetary value! Ask any Fanatic and they will say an Amen to that!

Mombasa Sports Club was the destination of the final leg of the Western Union National 7’s circuit. The tournament had seen rugby travel all the way to Kisumu (Dala 7’s) through Nakuru (Prinsloo 7’s) and what a better way to crown the champions than take them down coast-o!

Having being in Malindi for almost a week (don’t say you want my job!), I head back to Mombasa and as they say, jogoo wa shamba hawiki mjini, I had to get the assistance of one Koko to guide me (okay, I admit, sijui Msa poa) and the guy was more than a host. Problem is that the guy has lotsa idle time in his hands and has been doing some audio-visual recordings from his house…anything that makes news he has to broadcast. I so hope CCK will one day grant him a valid license to operate for his neighbours (and the likes of Mutheu and Susam)

Joe Mugo and Koko take me to a dingy pub, that is playing rhumba music. I call it dingy for the people performing were just doing renditions and as routine, they was all dressed in glossy shirts (wakamba wa DRC wale) and those mwalimu-jini design of shoes…baffles me whether their feet are that way!

Kahamas is our next stop. We board a mathree that had this high school kid that tried dondokaaring…kid, you don’t dondoka with your right leg first…and then ati kimbia mbele…none of my business, told him to go revise for the KCSE and not steal (by the way, what’s with the NCIS ingiliaring exam cheating…they should sort our National matters like Gor Mahia trying to evolve to becoming a political party!)

Kahama’s is half empty and it’s almost midnight. Coasterians know how to keep time LITERALLY…if it were Nairobi and you check into a club past midnight, you’d be laughed at. They even have an incentive of Tusker Malt going for 95/= during their happy hours and after that, it shoots up to Kes. 190/=….quite an incentive there!

Teddy Joe is here for holiday, and what’s with you and taking photo’s next to camel ride operators? heheheehe

On the other hand, the Fanatics gang arrive at Msa at 5.00am…this is despite them leaving Nairobi at 9.00am. Word is that they made a stopover at Voi and met some odiero’s who got entertained by them for like 5 hours. There was free rum and Red Bull of course…Upon getting to Msa, there was of course no need to check into a room and pay for only 3 hours…so, led by Tonyango, they made Bob’s their residential!

Mombasa rained that morning, almost carried my top but was told it’s just a passing thing-y…if that happens in Nairobi, you know what happens…akina Oliver Mathenge and his blood relations parade and create traffic snarl up singing ‘ubrera mia, kubwa biri, dogo mia’…they then go ahead to hike the fares!

Saturday…

Day 1 of the Driftwood 7’s kicks off, Arigi is here…sober as usual.

Mike kwambo jumping here and there (pole kwa kuibiwa simu kwa bar…yaani after surviving the Nairobi thuggery unakuja kuibiwa pwani?). I meet Madi, a religious Fanatic that does an interesting blog worth reading (www.travellingFanatic.blogspot.com) ..people like Madi will (unfortunately) never settle down, if he keeps globe trotting in the name of rugby! I heard he even carries plates and vikombe’s in his bag…hehehe

Tonyango arrives first, ako makaratasi! Bloodshot red eyes, and then he goes loose with jokes and songs at our stand. Kat follows laters with Mwamburi, they look half-fresh, half gone! Millie, Steve and Fundi jet in later…poor Millie, word is that she delayed domestic flights to Msa…she knows how! Blame it on some Kariobangi Light Industries and exam fever! Fundi on the other hand capitalizes on the Msa heat, and takes a Tusker after every 3 hours…you know what the heat does to alcohol!

Puree arrives, and is representing Faith Diana…who was afraid of the Indian Ocean water and decided to stay back in Nairobi! Faith, sharks don’t exist at the shores. Puree was to arrive on Saturday morning but the pub at JKIA did something to her…akawachwa na ndege!

Katho…you really made our afternoon...you know what you was in!

In between the games, Mwamba RFC is doing things big time. This is despite their key players being at training camp next door. Quins are looking for a comeback, that’s after seeing manyota’s at last weekends

Kababeri 7’s. a total of 16 teams (Mwamba, Machine, Homeboyz, Oryx, Quins, Strathmore, Mombasa, Spartans, KCB, Nakuru, USIU, Daystar, Impala, Nondies, BlakBlad and KCA) are down here. Some win, some win more and some win the most-est!

Coast-erians start streaming in from 5.00pm…maybe from waking up after a raving Friday. Am sure they will be that last people to go to heaven if they keep u p with that speed! Imagine they even never supported their two teams from coast-o (Spartans and Mombasa) who played a dismally poor game.

“ati kuna rugby huku, saa ngapi…na akina nani wanacheza” ran a comment from a coast-erian when I put up an update about the games in Mombasa!

Miles away, a buddy was tying the knot. Congratulations Mutua Ndungi…I wonder what the rest of the guys are waiting for…am talking about youMusau, Mutinda, Sev and the rest of the Musau generations. And someone upgrade Mutinda Mwania, who swore to attend the wedding in jeans after her heard the price of the suits! Musau on the other hand (for once) arrived at the wedding early…we know why!

As darkness starts setting in, so does the alcohol level in the blood. I get to enjoy the company of Glady’s, Hawa, Susan and some other pretty friends of hers. Azula Shiro, wink* wink* back!

I bump on Aswani having kahawa tungu at a street! Such things don’t happen in Uganda and am sure if the guy has the chance to beba the whole of Mombasa town back to Kambara (Kampala), he would!

We decide to check out some joints, and there are so many places offering some un-official after-party bashes. Casa B is the first one. Nothing to see (and touch)…no rugby trace here. Bella Vista, and I had to fork something to enter. The last time I paid to enter a club was years back in F2, York House, Monte Carlo and Holly-mbao! Pia nyinyi mtakuja Nairobi! After few rounds, we decide to tembelea Bob’s in the hope that Bob atalipa bill! Sadly is that we never lasted, over 24 hours lack of sleep and makelele na pombe….kwani Mombasa inaenda wapi? We leave the residents at their own game, and we go sleep!

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Musinziili Nite..furr furr kondishon!


They say nothing draws people from my community together than mbeautivul (beautiful) women, kalovo (not chang’aa) and music!

Last Friday, Carnivore hosted the Kamba theme nite dubbed Musinzilii Nite. Musinzilii, according to some two goons (keep reading) deeply entrenched in the Akamba custom is a sort of dance where youths come and interact in the hope of getting a soul mate after the dance. I didn’t care about getting a soulmate, there are many other ways of ‘hunting’. The previous name has been having issues but hey, Kamba’s want to dance and have fun, no matter the name!

Come evening and Laz Kisau, one of the goons mentioned afore gives me a call. Now, how do you go to Carni at 7.00pm? ama you wanted to go and pick a strategic seating place? Carni huendwa from 10pm, not unless you going to wipe seats! Laz by the way is the guy who took us to his ocha, a place where your mobile phone network is shifty!

Richard Kasomi, the other goon had marshaled up people from his village. These are friends you grew up with, guys you went to swim in the river with, ladies that made you join the local church choir…ladies that made you adorn a Savco jeans and karanga your nywele leaving it with a heavy scent of Hair Glo!

I link up with Dannie, my big bro whom we share birthday’s (our parents were good in mathematics!) and pitia a ka-local called ‘The Red Centre’ in Upper Hill, thanks to one Ronald Ng’eno and Eric Mugo Wamae. Ronnie was in the Red camp days back and to date, anything and everything to him is a ‘NO’…the spot had a number of Kale biggies. Reminds me of the stories of how our sisters visit their region once this wazee’s get their shares once they have sold wheat. Mugo is an Okuyo goon that once threatened us with a 1 million (dummy) cheque!

Contrary to other locals, waitress-es here issue you the bills with the glass upside down!

We make way to Carni, the car park is almost full. Kao’s must be minting money. I like that! This is contrary to Mugithi Nite’s where 75% of the vehicles parked there are pick-ups…the owners leave in the morning (drunk) and head straight to biashara ya kubeba thaara!

Inside, I meet Mulwa Siva…Mulwa resides in Thika and through the pineapple plantations to get here! Mutheu Nomi is also present, drinking chang’aa (legalized, happy?) Musau Mwania…here and there, hunting for what we all know best! Possibly trying to tafuta people (mostly she’s) who promised him that watakuja! Mutinda Mwania in his usual coat (Musau said that, not me!) and he tries to pull an innocent look on us! Mutunga Nguna and his brother Ndothia, forever holding bottles! Martin Nthiwa, we spotted you! Kamanza, noisy as usual! The towering Molly K, whom when I stand next to, I reach somewhere…talk of a safe landing!

Makusa Nzioki and George Mwangangi..you know what they say about the three of you (wapi Vincent?) Then there was Julius, who works in Kisumu city…who had an injury on the cheek…what happened?

Kamulito was in the house too, but being dark I never got the chance to see his date and do my ratings, plus I was kidogo tipsy. Kuna round 2, ntamwona! Then Eriq Dee, who is an ardent supporter of that team that starts the league on a high note and ends up a disappointing fifth! Now, Eric, how do you get onto the stage and wave an Ass-en-all scarf? Dude, that’s how people end up getting assassinated! Peleka Arsenal yako mbali!

Maurice Muendo and Alfie, my former buddies from Mbooni boys (drop those thoughts!)…next time you want to kill me, buy me liquor! A pretty Veronicah (won’t reveal the second name, lest uone friend requests!) was in the company of these two goons! Pee Kay M-Sila…who was that chick you was with? Ni kama namjua!

Churchill was roaming here and there, under his trademark cap! I greet him and he goes like “Syoks, umeleta maid wako wa Syokimau huku?”

Sue, Lucy and Eve…these three chicks were dressed to stand out…one would chomoa and hide their wedding ring! Eve is a sister to some two/three lovely ladies (sitawataja) that forever leave me confused! Patricia Munini, dressed up like a she-sailor…I wonder what was her motive, Carol Mbete was trying to compose herself from the kalovo, Manuella, my sweet dear neighbor (with benefits), Ruthie Naeku Ndunge and Dama Ngeli, you owe me! Jackline guy, nice meeting you!

Tesh Mumbua, no words for you! You have been hiding your twin sister from me all these years! Joy Ngosi, thanks for letting me shake your sister’s hand, now wait for me to shake your clan elder’s hands! Ruth Randy, how could you? Irene Kanini, we owe each other a poke (asi!)

I was missing some character in the name of Mblayo…come back home ASAP! Same as you Susam Muthoka and Sev Bahati! Edgar Tambo, atafutwe!

Onto the uninvited guests…Ronald Ngeno, next time kumbuka Kalovo sio maji, just coz it was retailing at 100bob a glass doesn’t make you drink like water! I loved the way you leaned, tried squatting, walked away…name them!

Eric Mugo…ile cheque vipi?

Kenny Kaburu aka FB-Governer and James Murua, these two brothers from Meru thought of a gate-crush. Kenny, according to sources was drinking his rent! Murua is this guy that I totally dread drinking with…for he drinks till the bladder bursts! He got christened ‘Mulwa’ and had to dropped ‘Murua’.


Come 5.00pm…that night was too short, same as the days of the week. Time is moving fast, high time I started working on my new year resolutions before next year…and that is marrying you, Nzisa wa Kioko!









Off to the pub!